stevetassie (stevetassie) wrote in standupcomics,

Rant about Religion

I can't believe how many people in this day and age treat the bible like it's gospel or something. I mean it only took a few months to figure out James Freys 1,000,000 Little Pieces was a fraud - and that was on Oprah's book list - so why has it taken over 2,000 years for people to figure out that the bible shouldn't be taken literally? The logic is that the book was written by god, and is therefore infallible.

Well, I was flipping through Leviticus the other day, just for kicks. You know Leviticus, right? It's the book of the old testament that says shaving, vegetable gardens and bunny rabbits are abominations against god. Any way, in the section on abominations is a long list of birds and right smack in the middle of the list it says "bats". So according to the bible, not only are bats an abomination against god, they are also birds.

Is it just me or does that little tidbit throw a little reasonable doubt on, maybe, THE ENTIRE REST OF THE BIBLE? Isn't it maybe possible that the bible (and the torah, koran and all the other ancient texts we hold so reverend) were actually written by men - well meaning men who were doing the best with what they had, but men who simply didn't have all the knowledge we have now? I think of the guys who wrote these texts as dads trying to give advice to their kids. Everybody knows no teenager listens to dad, so dad comes up with the bible and says some other guy wrote it and suddenly all the kids are doing what "god" says.

You just know that if the bible was written today, it would contain passages like "Incur not the wrath of god and anoint thyself with the sacred SPF30, lest ye suffer the plague of the red, peeling skin." or "Drinking and driving be the path to damnation. Pious is te way of the taxi and blessed be the designated driver. Carry always the Quarter of Salvation, so thou canst call thy parents for a ride in an emergency. Amen."
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